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The signs it’s time for a care home are rarely obvious at first. If you’ve started looking into a care home for your mum or dad, you’re probably worn out, and maybe feeling a bit guilty about it. You shouldn’t be. Wanting someone to be safe and properly looked after isn’t giving up on them. It’s the opposite.
Most people don’t suddenly decide it’s time. It builds up slowly. A fall, a missed tablet, that nagging worry you carry round with you all day at work. Below are seven signs that your mum or dad’s home might not be the safe place it used to be. You won’t see all of them, and you don’t need to. If a few of them sound familiar, it’s probably worth a chat.
One trip can happen to anybody. But when falls start happening again and again, or you keep hearing about the near misses after they’ve happened, it usually means your mum or dad isn’t as safe at home as they were. The stairs, getting in and out of the bath, getting up in the night for the loo. In a home where there’s always someone about, day and night, that worry lifts.
Keeping on top of medication is harder than it looks, especially when there are a few to take each day, or memory’s started to go. If you’re finding full blister packs, missed doses, or signs the same tablets have been taken twice, that’s a real risk. It’s one of the most common reasons families tell us they finally picked up the phone.
Have a proper look round next time you visit. Out of date food in the fridge, post piling up, bills not paid, less washing getting done, the same clothes on day after day. None of it is their fault, and it’s not yours either. It just means managing a house on their own has got to be too much.
When someone stops going out, stops seeing their friends, or just seems quieter and flatter than they used to be, they might be getting lonely. It’s easy to miss, because there’s nothing dramatic about it. A good home isn’t just about keeping people safe. It’s company, a bit of a laugh, music they know, and someone to have a brew with.
If your mum or dad is living with dementia, the house they’ve known for years can start to feel confusing, even frightening. Up and about in the night, leaving the gas on, getting upset or anxious at home. If you’ve started to feel out of your depth, you’re not on your own, and you’re not getting it wrong. This is exactly when the right home helps the most.
This is the one families leave too long. If you’re shattered, on edge, snapping at the people you love, letting your own health slide, or missing the mum or dad you used to have because now you’re always the one on duty, that matters too. You can’t keep pouring from an empty cup. Reaching the end of what you can manage at home isn’t a failing. It’s just being human.
Sometimes it’s the GP, the district nurse, a neighbour, or a social worker who gently says, “have you thought about getting a bit more help?” When other people start noticing as well, it’s worth listening. They can often see what’s hard to spot when you’re in the thick of it.
That’s alright. Spotting it is the hardest part, and you’ve done that bit. Choosing a care home isn’t giving up on someone. It’s making sure they’re looked after properly, and it often gives you back a bit of your relationship, so you can go back to being their son or daughter instead of their carer.
At Laurel Bank, we look after people living with dementia and complex needs, including folk that other homes have said they can’t take. Where other places say no, we’d rather have a look and see what we can do. Our team have been here a long time. They know every resident by name, and they know how they like their tea.
If you want to talk it through, with no pressure at all, come and see us. We’ll put the kettle on, show you round, and you can ask us anything.
Come and see us. Give Laurel Bank a ring on 0161 368 4719 for a friendly chat. We’re always happy to help.
There’s rarely one clear moment. The signs to look for are falls or near misses, missed or muddled tablets, struggling with everyday things like cooking and washing, getting lonely or low, dementia making the house feel unsafe, and you, the family, running on empty. If a few of those sound familiar, it’s a good time to have a chat with a home or your GP.
Yes. Nearly every family feels it. But moving someone into a good home isn’t abandoning them. It’s making sure they’re safe, looked after, and have company day and night. Most families tell us the guilt eases once they see their mum or dad settled and content, and once they can go back to just being family again.
Residential care, like Laurel Bank, gives someone a room, meals, company, activities and help with everyday things like washing, dressing, tablets and getting about, with staff there around the clock. A nursing home also has registered nurses on site for people with ongoing medical needs. Plenty of people living with dementia or complex needs are well looked after in residential care, with the right team and access to a GP and nurses.
Yes. At Laurel Bank we’re used to looking after people living with dementia, including more advanced dementia and behaviour that can be hard to manage, as well as other complex needs. We’re known round here as the home that says yes when others have said no. The best first step is a friendly chat, so we can understand your mum or dad and give you an honest answer.
Gently, and more than once. Pick a calm moment, and lead with them, not the home: “I just want to make sure you’re safe and not stuck on your own.” Listen more than you talk. It often helps to go and visit a home together for a brew before anyone decides anything, so it feels less daunting.
Definitely. Visiting is the best way to know if a home’s right. You’ll get a feel for the place within minutes. Take a few questions, meet the staff, and see whether the residents look settled and happy. At Laurel Bank you’re welcome to drop in for a brew and a look round, with no pressure to decide anything.
